I feel like celebrating this morning as I when I checked in on Adult Forum to see how many posts I had done I was shocked to see that I had 0 posts. What a major breakthrough for me. I have found that Adult Forum has become quite an addictive place to be.
This is my 8th month of membership and although I find the forum to be a very good research tool it has some very negative side effects. The forum itself is a great tool for information, from a clients point of view as well as a working girls viewpoint. I have learnt so much about so many different aspects.
Don't get me wrong there are heaps more worse things to be addicted to and Adult Forum is not so bad really. The forum has some very positive aspects as well as negative ones. The negative aspects of the forum I'm referring to is some of the members rather than the actual forum itself.
I have noticed over the past few months the deterioration of some of the members and how negative and attacking their behaviour has become. I have seen some that sit on the fence and argue the point for the sake of it and a day later they change their view and argue the opposite point due to majority rules. This can be rather frustrating as one never knows what their understanding of the debated topic really is. I'm starting to think that half of them have no idea either. It gets to a point where I get so worked up even I am becoming negative and this is an emotion that I just do not want to go back to. It has taken me so long to get to a point in my life that I have to keep reminding myself that if I don't make a conscious effort of pulling myself up I shall fall into the abyss of negativity.
I very good friend of mine who is also a member of the forum and my bi double in business had a very frightening experience the other night. Her and I had been messaging via MSN for most of the week. She has been having problems with her boyfriend who lives with her. It appears he has progressively become controlling. I have been rather worried about her. Well the other night it all came to a head. Thankfully due to our keeping in touch via phone and MSN daily I was able to assess the situation and act promptly.
To cut a long story short I had to contact the police who went to her address and found it very difficult to contain him so they had to use pepper spray. He was arrested and locked up overnight ready to appear in court the following morning for assault on a woman. So you see it was pretty bad. Her boyfriend had ripped the phone out of the wall and taken her mobile and she was asked to attend the police station to make a statement regarding the incident.
I was pretty frantic because it had been ages since I phoned the police and the arrest was made that I could not get hold of her to make sure she was OK. When she arrived home she posted a message on AF. She knows what I am like and wanted to reassure me that she was OK. We eventually got to speak to each other on the phone and I have to say I was so relieved to hear her voice on the other end.
Unfortunately some of the responses to her message on the forum was not so inviting. There were those who constantly show their caring and considerate side on the forum as always. They are the ones who consistently try to raise the morale to a more positive level. These are the members I find refreshing and who were the sole reason why I joined in the first place.
Then there are some members, the minority who constantly attack for the sake of being nasty. I was totally appalled to read some of the responses of some of some members on the forum and their total lack of respect for her. Their were suggestions of the validity being fake. Then next point being that it was written to drum up business. One idiot even had the audacity to ask for photographic proof.
Well this comment sent me into a head spin to say the least. It brought back all the memories of my own personal experience regarding domestic violence with an ex partner whom I am so thankful to have gotten rid of. Took a long time but I did it and three years down the road I have no wish of even speaking to the guy let alone see him again. Fortunately I'm not bitter any more about it but the haunting memories still lurk in the back of my mind where I'm sure they will stay for years to come.
My boyfriend used to beat the living crap out of me back then and one particular incident when he kicked me in the kidneys and I was left immobile for three days. I was in total agony. Many people back then would not believe it because they had not seen the proof of bruising but from the victims point of view we as woman feel ashamed that this sort of behaviour goes on. It is the most humiliating experience being the receiver of physical abuse. Its not on, its not acceptable for any reason no matter what level of abuse it is, its not right full stop.
The comments of some of the guys really infuriated me when they tried to make out that my friend was bullshitting. Its funny because there have been more negative comments regarding her making it up and using it to get sympathy. Another guy suggested it was a marketing ploy to get clients and drum up business. I mean are these guys dense or something. What a bunch of losers.
There is one member in particular who has gone downhill with his posting. He thinks he is funny. I think he is a prat. Anyway such is life. He brings me up in every thread almost just to get some kind of reaction and he is very derogatory in the way he addresses me.
The thread deteriorated to the point where I decided I didn't want my friend to see it the next morning as it would upset her so I had it deleted. AF were brilliant about it. I was very thankful and for this reason I will continue to be a member of the forum but for now I'm taking a break.
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